Progress for the Sake of Progress…and a Renga

Posted on April 3, 2011 by purrrentice

Sorry for the super late post, Friends! I’ve been everywhere but in front of a computer this weekend, and I’ve just been scatter brained.

In the last week, I’ve made some serious efforts to make my lifestyle what I want it to be. I don’t know what my dreams are. I’ve always been like that, enjoying a myriad number of skills and jobs but not settling on just one. I love so many things, like music, writing, comedy, sales modeling, kitties, etc. I suppose I’m just a promiscuous day dreamer.

A coworker of mine (K-Dawg) had lunch with our CEO on Friday. How exciting is that?

Tom Kah Soup is my favorite!

They ate Thai. I was jealous. I love Thai food!!! Anyways, the company may create a special events department for one brand, and K-Dawg told me that I was the first person who popped into her head to work with her on this. After a handful of empty promises at work, I’m taking my own advice and not getting my hopes too high on this, but it is still a possibility.

 

I applied for a bunch of jobs in the past weeks, and I started training last Sunday to be a freelance makeup artist. I like makeup. I like people. I like sales modeling, so this seemed like something to try. I shadowed my marvelous makeup mentor and buddy, Tamra Compton. She is so funny and knowledgable and fun. I think after a little more training I’ll be ready to sell! Now, I just need some test subjects on which to practice applying makeup. Oh, Mr. Prentice…

I also applied to be the Purina Cat Chow Correspondent! I mean, seriously. What can be better than traveling the country whilst meeting new people and playing with kitties?! This job also pays over double what I currently make, so I went all out. The rules said making a video was optional, but I honestly think if you want to win, you need to borrow your mom’s camcorder, head to your web cam, use the crappy movie setting on your digital camera or bust out your cell phone camera and make a freakin’ movie. In this technological era, there is no excuse to not make a video and post it on You Tube. Here’s mine!

For the fridge poem this week, Joie Brown tried her hand at refrigerator poetry in a collaborative piece called a Renga. We had fun writing together. (Public Apology: I’m sorry, Joie for not sending this to you yet. I don’t have your email saved on my work compy because IT messed with my settings, and I was going to send it through my personal account and forgot. Shame on me!) Anyways, onto the memo/poem:

Renga – An ancient, Japanese form or poetry that means “linked poem.” It is created with a pair or group of writers taking turns writing the two-stanza pattern. The first stanza is three lines and seventeen syllables. The second stanza is a couplet with seven syllables in each line.
I roped my BFF and illustrator, Joie, into writing a renga with me. We took turns and came-up with this:

Fridge Renga

As Monday’s sunrise
shines inside the office fridge,
lifeless, bare shelves sleep.

But as the week progresses,
hunger brings the fridge to life.

Wednesday passes innocently,
the shelves filling up
with lunch time snacks.

Perhaps some cheese left behind
Or a salad one forgot.

Flat soda rain,
trickles down lunchbox hills,
and pools on Pork Chow Mein Plains,

By Thursday fridge is flooded,
and overpopulated.

Friday brings the most
marvelous stench,
the fridge bulging out with decay.

Time for the Receptionist
to descend with a trash can

With a magical swish,
of her trash bag wand,
the cleaning commences!

Yogurt soars and french fries fly,
Frozen dinners twirl and swirl!

A maelstrom of food
tumbles quickly into the
trash can’s open maw.

This fairy of mercy cleans,
restoring the fridge’s light.

Plastic shelves once cluttered,
with a fortress of pizza,
fruit and bacon,

Are deftly liberated,
as the food walls are torn down.

The fridge gives one last belch,
the wand one last sweep,
the food tumbles out fast.

Ends in a blink of the eye,
the dark can swallows it all.

And as the sun sets on Friday,
the humble glow of dusk,
soon reveals,

The pristine twin of Monday,
The fridge’s circle of life.

Posted in aries, Beauty, BFF, blogging, cats, chores, Illustrator, Joie Brown, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

10 Things To Know About Being A Receptionist

Posted on March 30, 2011 by purrrentice

While sorting the mail, I found the dumbest ad:

Look at that super star…at the front desk…

For 99 bucks, you can learn how to be the best receptionist! I never read beyond the covers because this made my brain hurt, especially after having two admin jobs under my belt. On the back cover, it claims to teach valuable lessons like how to answer the phone, be pleasant and blah blah blah. Really? Who in their right mind would attend this class? You could learn a new, more useful skill for that much, or you could buy 200 Cadbury Eggs. Either would be a better use of time and money.

Clearly the best choice

If you’re considering pursuing a receptionist’s career(?), my first word of advice would be “Don’t.” If you refuse to take that advice, then rather than go to this lame class, keep your hundred dollars and let Miss Prentice share her vast knowledge of an administrative specialist…for free…and in much less time.

1. The Phone Voice

Anybody can learn how to answer the phone, but having a”phone voice” is an unteachable trait, like being pretty. It has something to do with pitch and stressing of syllables and sounding like you give a crap. Advanced phone people can sound like magic rainbow happiness on the phone while rolling their eyes and scowling.

2. Learn to Lie

Lying is essential, and any admin assistant must learn to do so with haste. You’re not going to tell a solicitor, customer or coworker that the person they are calling is not interested in dealing with his/her nonsense. No. They are always “in a meeting,” or “out for the day,” or “just leaving.” Playing dumb is another useful form of lying that makes life a lot easier for me. “Huh? I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

3. Talking About the Weather

What is only thing everybody in the office world have in common? We all breathe the same air. I talk with people about how good or bad the weather is every day. It should be your default conversation setting.

4. Underestimated

No matter how much responsibility you take on, and no matter how good a job you do, you will aways be underestimated by your coworkers because you’re “just the receptionist.” Do you know how many people think I’m 18 and fresh out of high school? I have a college degree and will be 26 next week!

5. Busy Work

In addition to all the tasks the receptionist is already assigned, people assume the person at the front desk does nothing (Yes, people have said behind my back that they wished they had my job because I do nothing but sit around and relax all day), and they will dump their busy work on the less fortunate. These projects range from data entry to sweat shop-like labor (like inputting boring payroll data, mass mailings, or making 300 gift bags in a day).

6. Underappreciated

I remember getting an Admin Appreciation Day card from a manager at AMC, and with the card she said “We appreciate what you do…when you do your job.” She thought I did nothing but eat popcorn and hang out with my friend Brian all day. Little did she know I did accounts payable, HR auditing, movie time data entry, and operations paperwork auditing. Oh well, at least they remembered the card. My company forgot last year. Being forgotten is another facet of being underappreciated. It happens all the time.

7. Learning about People

For some reason, People open-up to me at the front desk, delving into many unexpected aspects of their life. I’m like a human Redbook Magazine or like Lucy from The Peanuts, giving advice on beauty, relationships, careers, sex, etc. Even more startling is learning more about people than you ever wanted to know.

For instance, one of my couriers talks to me about his love life. He’s recently and bitterly divorced, and he was excited about a breakfast date. When I followed-up, he told me that she missed the date…because she was in jail…for a DUI…which was ironic because he met her at an AA meeting! Today, I learned that he is meeting the girl he fell in love with over a year ago after not contacting her for six weeks…which goes against his therapist’s advice. Mind blown. On to the next lesson.

8. Friends in Handy Places

As the receptionist, I have found the most beneficial relationships I’ve established in the office are with staff outside my company. Being buddy-buddy with the maintenance crew, janitorial staff, building management, delivery guys and the mail man has been fun and useful.

9. Taking on Tasks

This is a difficult balance for me. You are taught that taking on every responsibility and project possible will prove your worth, talents and skills in the workplace, but I beg to differ. Why would the company promote me if I already do everything they want and more for a lower price and no office? I partially blame my lack of assertion on my old manager because she never had my back. If I was being overworked or bullied, another bully was not the person to go to for help. I think learning to say “no” sometimes is valued even more in today’s work climate than being a yes-man all the time.

10. Sanity

It is too easy to lose sight and faith in yourself in this line of work. Fight it! Don’t let the office world bring you down. Find something to express yourself (Within reason. My office couldn’t handle a full dose of Prentice.). For me, it’s the fridge poems. Cling onto this outlet as long as you can, and hopefully things will fall into place around you.

Posted in Advice, birthday, blogging, Cadbury Eggs, chores, executives, Mail, managers, office, poetry, receptionist, Receptionist Class, refrigerator, shenanigans, Uncategorized, writing | 168 Comments

Abecedarian Kadabra!

Posted on March 26, 2011 by purrrentice

So, this was a pretty good week, despite the time going slow and the workload being off the chain.

I sent nearly fifty packages on Monday and Tuesday! Look at this tall snake I made! It's taller than me in heels!

My friend Adam sent me this really funny link to an article with Passive Aggressive Fridge Messages. It made my day, and I feel it’s fitting to share it on my fridge blog!

I was wrong about the last remnants of my old manager being the whole pay raise and evaluation debacle. There was one last surprise she left. I didn’t know this, but whenever you write a product review on a site or ask a question in the Q&A, it is managed through a different site, and now I’m that person. I wasn’t surprised to see the person who was supposed to take the responsibility (my old manager) didn’t do anything, so I have over 100 questions to answer. This kills my trust in the Q&A section of any site. Rather than have a professional answer such questions, untrained people like the receptionist or some random customer service chick (or a deranged manager) do it.

I’m now the voice of the company. That’s right. I consider this my second voice acting gig, Esocks’s Fables with Joie Brown for a high school project being the first. If you ever call when the phone is on night mode, I’ll be the one telling you “Our normal business hours are blah di blah dee da…If you want to place an order or check the status of an existing order, please press 3…”

There are five types of personal power people can have (Referent, Legitimate, Reward, Coercive and Information), and with every new task I learn that nobody else really knows how to do, I gain more of the information power. I doubt I will be fired anytime soon because I do waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than the typical receptionist…oh wait…I mean Administrative Specialist.

I was almost screwed with this week’s fridge poem. I was a bit uninspired and busy. Since this was also the first week of Spring, I wanted to something springy. With only thirty minutes to go, I for some reason decided to do an Abecedarian (Alphabetical Poem), and I somehow managed to magically finish the poem without it sucking. As a matter of fact, our copywriter said I should be teaching grad students to write poetry! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ♥

The abecedarian is an ancient poetic form guided by alphabetical order. Generally each line or stanza begins with the first letter of the alphabet and is followed by the successive letter, until the final letter is reached

Springtime in the Fridge

After the hunger pangs of winter’s frigid cold,
Before the summer’s sticky, humid heat,
Creation out of bleakness sprouts and grows,
Desiring to bloom and blossom in the sun.

Especially at this fruitful time of year,
Fridges germinate their own creations,
Gross, forgotten, festering buds of food,
Hamburgers, soups and little cups of fruit.

Insipid lunches thrown aside by owners,
Joining others going out to eat,
Kicking themselves,
Later on for not eating well,
Mourning their diet faux pas.

Nothing compares to eating lunch,
On a patio in the spring,
Perhaps that’s the reason why,
Quaint, nutritious salads made at home,
Remain in the refrigerator until they wilt.

Springtime in the fridge is not as sweet
To sandwiches and leftovers forgotten.

Underneath the mold and all the fuzz,
Vexation fills the rotting,
When the receptionist drags the trash can closer.

Xanax would be appreciated by
Your yogurt, who once fresh and passionate and,
Zealous, now zigs and zooms into its trash can doom. Continue reading →

Posted in Bi-winning, blogging, chores, inspiration, Makeup Reviews, managers, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, writing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

My Charlie Sheen Interview (about a fridge or course!)

Posted on March 19, 2011 by purrrentice

My mood has been up and down this week. I’m blaming PMS, my receptionist butt (which is just a cute way to say I’m getting fat from sitting all day), drinking too much last week and a bad case of the Receptionist Blues (or a bad flare-up, since the Receptionist Blues is a chronic condition). A Happy Meal with my friend Elaine and her beautiful daughter Jamie, along with some song writing, got me through the worst of it. Wait…Prentice writes songs?! Yes I do. I’ve been writing music since I was eight. I’m working on a blues song about being a receptionist. When I finish it, perhaps I’ll record it for y’all.

I hope none of you got pinched yesterday for not wearing green (unless you wanted to be pinched *evil giggle*), and if you did, it isn’t my fault because I wrote a beauty blog this week about using green eye makeup. That’s right. I’m also pretending to be a makeup artist. I’m a freakin’ jack-of-all-trades.

My fridge musing this week was not a poem nor song nor lolcat. I wanted to do something that did not require an illustration, so my dear Joie Brown could rest her physically assaulted fingers. If you didn’t read my previous entry, do so now, so you will know what happened to Joie’s poor drawing hand. I just recently saw the Charlie Sheen interviews, and they are ROFL gold. The intern at my office requested I do something with that, so I did:

My Fridge Interview with Charlie Sheen

Prentice: First off, Charlie. It’s great to be speaking with you in this beautiful break room.

Charlie: Yeah. I know. It’s pretty radical.

Prentice: So, why exactly does your house have a break room?

Charlie: The Goddesses and I need a place to take a break, and the indoor kitchen, outdoor kitchen and three living rooms just wouldn’t do. Any Bi-winning house should have a break room. Duh.

Prentice: Agreed…and what are those countertops made of? They’re lovely!

Charlie: Well, I originally wanted to use Aztec gold, but there was some snag with the Mexican government, so I was like “Screw them! Charlie Sheen needs no gold!” That’s when I decided granite would be better. I mean, really? Aztec gold is boring anyways.

Prentice: Well, let’s get to the nitty gritty of it: The Fridge.

Winning

Charlie: What’s that got to do with me? Why do you want to talk about a household appliance instead of Charlie Sheen?

Prentice: We talked about this, Charlie, remember? I want to ask about your break room cleaning habits.

Charlie: Cleaning is for fools!

Prentice: So, you don’t clean the fridge?

Charlie: Of course I do! Such an important task can be done by no mere man. I just blink and it’s cured. It’s clean, because I’m freakin’ Charlie Sheen.

Prentice: I see…

Charlie: When I see those squeaky clean shelves and drawers, free of food crap, I’m like, “Winning!”

Prentice: So, Charlie, what we all want to know is if you’re using—

Charlie: This again!? Like I said, I use a blender, a vacuum cleaner, household items. Do you mean –

Prentice: I was asking if you use any special cleaners on your fridge…

Charlie: Oh. I use my own cleaner. It’s called Charlie Sheen. I don’t need any Comet or Fantastic or 409, and Oxy Clean’s got nothing on me. My heart, my brain, and my tiger blood can cut through grease like a knife. I can clean anything. Can’t is the cancer of clean.

Prentice: Okay…

Charlie: My elbow grease is so strong I have to have titanium shelves in my fridge. Otherwise, I will scrub them into oblivion and keep going until I break through the earth’s crust and core, popping out in a fridge in China, and I’ll clean the crap out of their fridge, too. I’m like Martha Stewart on steroids and rocket fuel.

Prentice: Wow, Charlie. That’s intense…

Charlie: Like camping.

Prentice: Right-o. Good pun…Well, that’s it for today, Folks. Thanks again for the interview, Charlie.

Posted in Aztec Gold, BFF, Bi-winning, blogging, Blues, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen Interview, chores, Happy Meal, Illustrator, Joie Brown, Makeup Reviews, office, PMS, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, song writing, Tiger Blood, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments

BFF ♥

Posted on March 16, 2011 by purrrentice

My BFF and personal illustrator, Joie Brown, had a freak, drawing hand incident! Some dumb, drunk chick slammed poor Joie’s fingers in a bathroom door over and over again because the door wouldn’t close. Now her magical fingers are all crushed and torn, but I’m happy to know she will be just fine.

Joie’s drawings and paintings are nothing short of amazing, and the fridge illustrations are definitely not the first pieces she’s done for me. You should go to her website and bask in the whimsical light of her awesomeness. Our friendship began in middle school, but our teamwork shenanigans started back in high school. We were often bored in health class. I would say “Hey, Joie! Draw [insert wild and ridiculous idea here] for me!” She always would, and our creative pairing only grew from there. We’ve done all kinds of creative stuff together, from arts and crafts to cosplay to more serious visual and literary works.

Here we are in our awesome Eternal Sailor Moon and Venus costumes! Yeah. We're that flippin' cool.

Slay that Timesheet Dragon

If great minds think alike, well, then Joie and I are freaking geniuses because we practically have the same brain sometimes. Our first ideas/attempts to make a combo meal out of my writing and her art came about last year, when I was whining about my very least favorite task ever in the history of mundane tasks I’ve had to do at any job, timesheets. We kept making nerdy RPG references to our obnoxious office jobs, and we came up with Knights to Five, a comic putting a knight and a mage in an office setting.

Not long after that, Joie was bored at work and decided to do an illustration for one of my fridge poems, the sonnet. While we both worked in offices, she would sketch the drawing, take a pic of it with her phone and text it to me. Joie finally escaped the office apocalypse and fled to grad school (Lucky duckie!), and we’ve done all our work together via text, Facebook and e-mail. Joie has enjoyed using the fridge illustrations to practice techniques in Photoshop. Things progressively got bigger, better and more outlandish (kind of like us), and suddenly, what started as a series of quickly sketched jokes turned into a serious affair. I have two of her pieces (a print of Kicking it Old School and the original of It’s Raining Cheese) hanging in my house.

This badly copied/pasted collage does not do proper justice for Joie's wonderful work, but I only have Paint to work with. 😦

In progress pic of Mr. Socks the Pirate

As the fridge saga continued, we explored other projects, like turning my first book, Bakeneko: Mariko’s Dream, into a graphic novel. This is when we decided to work together on the Mr. Socks series. We make a great pair. We are each other’s biggest fans. We are BFFs on a mission.

Posted in BFF, blogging, cats, Cheese, Childrens' books, chores, Cosplay, Cream Cheese, dramatic monologue, Dreidel, Epic, Illustrator, inspiration, It's Raining Men, Jimmy Buffett, Joie Brown, Margaritaville, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, Sailor Moon, shenanigans, sonnet, Uncategorized, writing | 5 Comments

Lolcats be Makin’ Stacks

Posted on March 12, 2011 by purrrentice

Hi, All. I had this blog written and ready yesterday, but something went wrong, and my post was lost. Oh well, here’s to Saturday morning blogging!

The last remnants of my previous manager emerged this week. Though performance reviews and subsequent raises were supposed to be completed by March, I never got one. when I asked my new, amazing supervisor about it, she was horrified and looked into the matter immediately. Get this. My old, deranged manager wrote whatever she wanted and submitted all the forms WITHOUT her employees’ signatures! Then the CEO and VP of Finance, not thinking to make sure the forms were complete (Because what dumb ass in his/her right mind would turn-in falsified reviews? Perhaps the same kind who lies about bereavement time to work a new job and abuses every labor law possible?), signed them, thus making it official.

The good thing about this is in addition to the bereavement time caper and making a hot mess of everything before quitting, my old manager also spent as much of her budget as possible. I got 3.5%, which is significantly more than last time, when the she forgot to do my review, lied about it and scrounged-up 1% out of the goodness of her wicked heart.

The bad thing about this is my portion of the review, the behavior objectives and career interests sections I mentioned in January that I was so assertive about, went completely ignored, teaching me some new, twisted life lesson the hard way.

I recycled a beauty blog about Mardi Gras that was not posted in time last year. I kept it, just in case I was still around a year later (groan). Here it is.

This week I did not do a fridge poem. Instead, I tried my hand at photography.

Cleaning the fridge is tough work, so I decided to hire some helpers:


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How could I resist after reading their job application?



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS: Tybee the cat wanted me to tell you that the lighting in the photo is totally not doing her cuteness justice, and Savannah wanted me to tell you that her leopard spots are real, not implants.

Shoving my cats in the fridge and taking pictures of them was not as easy as I anticipated. I got two shots before they devoured the treats and scampered-off. It was much harder to get them to fill out that job application and sign it though. Those cats are lazy!

Posted in Beauty, blogging, cats, chores, kitties, Lolcats, managers, Mardi Gras, office, Pay Raise, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, writing | 1 Comment

Today’s Theme: Catchy Tunes

Posted on March 9, 2011 by purrrentice

I’m working on a video to audition to be the Purina Cat Chow correspondent. If that doesn’t reek of Prentice, I don’t know what does:

(Traveling + Meeting People) KITTIES = Prentice’s Dream Job

Anyways, they say that a video is optional, but I feel like if you want to go for the gold, you should make a freaking video. I borrowed my mommy’s camera, and I wanted to test it out before shooting.

Coincidentally, I composed a song in Mario Paint for my brother and Kendall last week. It’s from one of our fav shows, Sonny With a Chance. Here is the original song:

To share my masterpiece, The Gift of Prentice, I recorded it (badly) with the camera. It ends up I have to go to Mommy’s house to edit stuff, so I just loaded my Mario Paint song as is:

Pretty awesome, huh? Yeah. I know, but please feel free to tell me in the comments section below. Can I just rant for a moment about Mario Paint Composer? It is lame. I feel like if you’re going to embrace the magic of Mario Paint, you need to hunker down with your SNES, ghetto Nintendo mouse in hand, and deal with the restrictions that the original game has. What fun is it if you can add sharps and flats to the mix, have more than three notes per beat and go beyond 24 bars? Why not use a real music program at that point? I think the videos of music made on composer are cool enough, but I feel the most respected pieces are those made in the original program, where you have to work with limits. I like “making it work,” which is likely why I enjoy budget home improvements and poetry that rhymes or has a specific syllable count. It’s artful problem solving.

Keeping my Catchy Tune Theme, here is a fridge song parody I did a while back:

Grossbusters!

If there’s something strange in the ice box door,

A sketch whipped-up real quick for me by Miss Joie Brown

Who you gonna call?
Grossbusters!
If there’s mildew smeared and there’s too much gore,
Who you gonna call?
Grossbusters!

I ain’t afraid of cheese toast!
I ain’t afraid of rump roast!

If at five fifteen there’s still bread and spread,
Who can you call?
Grossbusters!
An invisible gal cleaning in your stead,
Oh, who you gonna call?
Grossbusters!

I ain’t afraid of tacos!
I ain’t afraid. It ain’t gross!

Let me tell you something…
Bustin’ makes me feel good!

Who you gonna call?
Grossbusters!
If mold has grown, pick up the phone,
And call
Grossbusters!!

Ow!

Who you gonna call
Grossbusters!!

Posted in birthday, blogging, cats, Chad Dylan Cooper, chores, Ghostbusters, Mario Paint, Music, office, parody, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, Sonny With A Chance, writing | 1 Comment

Honest Concrete Makeover

Posted on March 5, 2011 by purrrentice

First off, I have to gloat because yesterday my blog got 50 VIEWS IN ONE DAY! Huzzah! To celebrate this momentous blog event (and because it needed to be done soon anyways) I gave Receptionist on the Verge a complete makeover! It’s a bit cheesy, but I like it!

For those of you who did not read my previous posts this week, there is yet another reason to celebrate this week. My manager officially quit! This person has made my life very hard, and it’s such a relief to know the tyranny is over!

I took a floating day on Wednesday to work for Honest Tea. They hired me last August, and this was the first event I’ve done. It was at Coca Cola’s corporate office, and I had fun. If I can combo  meal freelance makeup artistry with some Honest Tea, things would be better. This week I also wrote a beauty blog about how much I freaking love primer. Seriously, I don’t usually boast about a product like this, but it makes my skin look even more wonderful than it is already. People are like “your skin is so beautiful,” and I can give credit to my mommy (for giving me her skin genes), my skincare routine (sunscreen and moisturizer) and this primer. Woot.

Yesterday was nuts. I had a rough day. I had to FedEx almost 20 packages! Then the voice mail system went down, so EVERY customer service call for all three brands came directly to me. It was awful, like, I was getting a nervous tic and thought I was going to pass out or cry or both. Throw in some diva attitudes, and that was my day. I went home, drank two beers while taking a long shower, took a nap, drank more beer, put on my 7.5 inch disco heels, popped in my Funny Girl DVD, drank more beer and then sang along with the movie and my cats until Mr. Prentice came home. Despite this traumatic day, I somehow managed to still create a fridge poem, and it didn’t suck.

Concrete Poetry: (Also know as Visual Poetry or Size Poetry) A poem in which the typographical arrangement of words is integral in achieving the desired poetic effect.

Posted in Barbra Streisand, Beer Shower, blogging, Cheese, chores, Concrete Poetry, Dreams, Funny Girl, Heels, Illustrator, Lunch box, Makeup Reviews, office, poetry, Primer, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, Stilettos, stress, Tea, writing | 2 Comments

Attitudes and Strange Dreams

Posted on March 3, 2011 by purrrentice

This morning I made a Facebook post about the weird dreams I had last night, and a friend of mine said I should add crazy dreams to the nonsensical musings that are my blog. So be it.

Before bed, I watched too many episodes of Know Your Meme on Youtube. This would explain why I had a weird

Soooooo Creepy

dream that I went to a very strange strip club. It was a meme club, and it was horrifying and hilarious in tandem. None of the dancers got naked. Thank God. I remember seeing Boxxy and Creepy Chan pole dancing and looking…well. creepy. There was a cartoon badger hopping at a table with a bunch of singles in his hand, and I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay there or not. Then I thought “Maybe I should dance here. ” The girls were making a ton of money and weren’t even taking off their clothes. Thank God. I remember there were white-ish walls, and I had a pink drink in hand. The lights were very blinky and colorful, like a double rainbow. This dream was over 9000 unsettling, and I wanted to Keyboard Cat it out of my mind.

Anyways, I took yesterday off to do an Honest Tea event at Coca Cola. It was a lot of fun, and I hope they use me more often now that they’ve witnessed the awesomeness that is my skills. I came back today with people going “Where were you??!!” Take a deep breath, people. I also got a snarky e-mail about some important package. Whatever. I’m not even going to go there today.

What bugs me most about leaving is when my replacements get trolled and bullied in my stead. There was a diva moment about that package, and there was also some epic “Get me Starbucks” drama that went down. Just hearing the stories made me angry, so I that made me feel extra bad for her because she was insulted and clueless as of what to do. I don’t like it when people look down on me or my girls because of our position. I mean, who do you think you are? Somebody needed a time-out yesterday. I then thought about time-out corners, and then I thought about how we should devote an office to be a time out corner. I then thought about spoiled kids being sent to their rooms and how angry they get, despite the fact they have video games and tv in there. This brings me to this final idea: Time-out in the Corner…office. I felt the need to express this idea with a bad cat comic:

I think it should be legally required for everybody to have a service or service-like job for at least six months. It’s humbling and builds character…….and patience.

Posted in Badger, blogging, Boxxy, cats, Creepy Chan, Dreams, managers, office, receptionist, shenanigans | 1 Comment

Scatter Brained Tuesday

Posted on March 1, 2011 by purrrentice

My mind is all fuzzy today, scattered like an order of hash browns “All-The-Way” from the WaHo. I want to post something today, but I haven’t really attempted to collect any thoughts until about…………now.

I should start off by expressing my relief that my manager quit this week. I don’t want to go into too many details, but that person has made my life a living hell on many occasions, an everyday basis at the worst of times. It’s frustrating to know this kind of person can score a better job while I can’t, but I’ll take what I can get for now. At least I can be peacefully on the verge, rather than painfully.

Speaking of Verge, I finally updated my About Section to actually explain my blog. Yay me.

My brain died like an hour or two ago, so since I can’t think of a swanky theme for this post, I’ll just throw a few brief fridge poems at you:

Ghazal – A Middle Eastern form of poetry with five to fifteen couplets. Lines are about the same length with a scheme and a refrain.

 Fridge Ghazal

I shan’t be easygoing,
When the fridge is overflowing,

For mold will soon be growing,
If the fridge is overflowing,

Cleaning will be undergoing,
Once that fridge is overflowing,

 And you treats I will be throwing,
Since the fridge is overflowing,

 Soups and fries and some sweet dough ring,
In the fridge that’s overflowing,

I’ll clean ‘till nothing’s showing,
In that fridge that’s overflowing,

So don’t act befuddled and unknowing,
When the fridge ain’t overflowing!

Kimo – A post haiku form from Israel with seven syllables in the first line, ten in the second and six in the last.

 Fridge Kimo

Summer heat will spoil your food
As shall leaving it in my fridge too long
Either way tossed away

Decomposition Deposition: Dueling Fridge Haikus

frigidaire landfill
overcome by moldy food
lunchbox pollution

cold, clean and pristine
like a crystal clear glacier
baking soda fresh

Posted in blogging, Cheese, chores, Ghazal, Kimo, managers, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, Scattered, shenanigans, Uncategorized, Waffle House, writing | 2 Comments