Abecedarian Kadabra!

So, this was a pretty good week, despite the time going slow and the workload being off the chain.

I sent nearly fifty packages on Monday and Tuesday! Look at this tall snake I made! It's taller than me in heels!

My friend Adam sent me this really funny link to an article with Passive Aggressive Fridge Messages. It made my day, and I feel it’s fitting to share it on my fridge blog!

I was wrong about the last remnants of my old manager being the whole pay raise and evaluation debacle. There was one last surprise she left. I didn’t know this, but whenever you write a product review on a site or ask a question in the Q&A, it is managed through a different site, and now I’m that person. I wasn’t surprised to see the person who was supposed to take the responsibility (my old manager) didn’t do anything, so I have over 100 questions to answer. This kills my trust in the Q&A section of any site. Rather than have a professional answer such questions, untrained people like the receptionist or some random customer service chick (or a deranged manager) do it.

I’m now the voice of the company. That’s right. I consider this my second voice acting gig, Esocks’s Fables with Joie Brown for a high school project being the first. If you ever call when the phone is on night mode, I’ll be the one telling you “Our normal business hours are blah di blah dee da…If you want to place an order or check the status of an existing order, please press 3…”

There are five types of personal power people can have (Referent, Legitimate, Reward, Coercive and Information), and with every new task I learn that nobody else really knows how to do, I gain more of the information power. I doubt I will be fired anytime soon because I do waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than the typical receptionist…oh wait…I mean Administrative Specialist.

I was almost screwed with this week’s fridge poem. I was a bit uninspired and busy. Since this was also the first week of Spring, I wanted to something springy. With only thirty minutes to go, I for some reason decided to do an Abecedarian (Alphabetical Poem), and I somehow managed to magically finish the poem without it sucking. As a matter of fact, our copywriter said I should be teaching grad students to write poetry! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ♥

The abecedarian is an ancient poetic form guided by alphabetical order. Generally each line or stanza begins with the first letter of the alphabet and is followed by the successive letter, until the final letter is reached

Springtime in the Fridge

After the hunger pangs of winter’s frigid cold,
Before the summer’s sticky, humid heat,
Creation out of bleakness sprouts and grows,
Desiring to bloom and blossom in the sun.

Especially at this fruitful time of year,
Fridges germinate their own creations,
Gross, forgotten, festering buds of food,
Hamburgers, soups and little cups of fruit.

Insipid lunches thrown aside by owners,
Joining others going out to eat,
Kicking themselves,
Later on for not eating well,
Mourning their diet faux pas.

Nothing compares to eating lunch,
On a patio in the spring,
Perhaps that’s the reason why,
Quaint, nutritious salads made at home,
Remain in the refrigerator until they wilt.

Springtime in the fridge is not as sweet
To sandwiches and leftovers forgotten.

Underneath the mold and all the fuzz,
Vexation fills the rotting,
When the receptionist drags the trash can closer.

Xanax would be appreciated by
Your yogurt, who once fresh and passionate and,
Zealous, now zigs and zooms into its trash can doom.

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in Bi-winning, blogging, chores, inspiration, Makeup Reviews, managers, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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