I’m Pretty Sure My Cat Is Gone…

Posted on October 15, 2011 by purrrentice

Bad Cat Mom

On top of all the craziness in my life, my Bengal cat, Savannah, is gone. I let her out early one Sunday morning without her collar. It had fallen off and needed to be put back on. She was annoying me with that loud meow she does so well, and I sleepily shooed her out the door without it. She’s been gone for three weeks, and it’s pretty much because I’m an inadequate cat mom. It’s all my fault.

After a couple days (I generally don’t go into “Holy shit my cat is missing” mode for a couple days, because cats are like inconsiderate teenagers who don’t call mom before heading to a friend’s house or being later than curfew.) I made lovely signs and posted them all over my neighborhood, and Nick inserted them in mail boxes. I made lost pet reports and searched the neighborhood and house many times. Nick called the animal shelter. A Bengal had been turned in, but it was brought to the shelter by its owners in Kennesaw. WHO JUST GIVES THEIR PET TO THE SHELTER?!?! Worse cat parents then me I guess.

It was a long shot, but I went to see if it was our cat. The animal shelter is a sad place. I feel bad for all the homeless kitties, so I played with every cat in the viewing rooms. I did not find the Bengal, so I was directed to “all the other cats.” I said “There’s more?!” Outside, in an outdoor storage area, were at least fifty more cats in cages. I felt so helpless, because what I thought was a good deed to every cat there was just for a fraction of them. The Bengal was in the clinic and wasn’t mine. Not even close to Savannah Montana. I then turned into the E-harmony Cat Lady and cried the whole way home:

I decided to write a half serious half silly haiku about the comparison:

small shelter cages
filled with cats fill me with woe
can’t hug every cat 

I attempted to go into the “woods” near my house, as it turns out is an impenetrable fortress between a chain length fence and the huge interstate wall. I tried to enter through a creek around the corner from my street, only to find disgruntled old people giving me the stank eye and a big, scary copperhead. Nope. There is no way Savannah got into those woods. She was probably stolen, taken-in as a stray or is dead, and since I feel responsible, I keep having dreams about her, and I keep having the song Mona by James Taylor in my head.

I decided to force myself to write a villanelle, to reflect on my feelings and mourn for Savannah. I’m starting to lose hope.

I don’t know what to do,
my cat is lost both here and now,
Savannah Cat, I miss you.

I searched the shelter’s kitten queues,
hoping I would find her somehow,
I don’t know what to do.

That Bengal’s coat made people coo,
with leopard spots from tail to jowl,
Savannah Cat, I miss you.

I hope wherever she’s gone to,
is safe, with much love and cat chow,
I don’t know what to do.

When I wake to silence, I feel blue.
I avow I now miss her yowling meow,
Savannah Cat, I miss you.

I want to go back, undo the last time I let you,
out, but I can only pray nothing’s gone afoul.
I don’t know what to do.
Savannah Cat, I miss you. 

 

Posted in cats, Christmas, Funny Poetry, hopeless, kitties, leopard, Nightmares, sad poetry | 4 Comments

Pride Festival FTW!

Posted on October 12, 2011 by purrrentice

Even my toes were dressed for the occasion!

Prentice here, ready to blow your minds with my Gay Pride Festival report! It has been awhile since I attended, but I’m so glad I made it happen this year. You don’t have to be LGBTQ to attend.  There is enough support, happy vibes and love for everybody, even an awkward girl like me who is married but likes boobies and drag shows! That’s really what Pride is all about: loving yourself and others, even if you/they don’t fit into soem stupid, superficial, socialistic mold. I can be flamboyantly myself, while wearing my magical RuPaul shirt and bright colors, and it’s all good! I didn’t feel too short or curvy or weird. I just had fun, and I was supporting gay rights! Woot! Heck, gay people thanked me for attending. Lolz.

Davie Poo and me having a pre-parade drank!

My husband was scheduled out of his availability and had to work, which is hella lame, so my brother-in-law, Davie Poo, graciously took me to see the parade. He lives and works in Atlanta, so he hooked-me-up through some of his friends in the area. His friends had a great spot for the parade, where I got free mar-gay-ritas (I call them that because they were strong…because gay dudes always make strong drinks…which is awesome) and a spot on the sidewalk where even my short ass could see everything!

My husband was able to meet us at the festival. It was fun. We visited a lot of booths and met some cool people. The weather was perfect for all the walking we did, and we had a delicious pizza at Mellow Mushroom for dinner. After that, we were off to the drag show! The show was totally fantastic. Nick found a spot where I was up against the dividing wall for the VIP section, so I could hold on to the wall and climb when some behemoth man decided to stand in front of me. He knew what he had done, and all the jerk did was shrug at me. He clearly didn’t get the memo about me being four feet and ten inches tall. I think his friend got sick or something, because he left early. Yay for me! I also made some cool friends in the VIP area. We held hands. Awwww. I loved getting to see all the queens, including the fabulous Jujubee and all the hotties of the ATL.

Here Are My Top 5 Highlights

#5 – The Frito Lay truck gave out free snacks, which kept David and my buzzes in check

#4 – A gay guy got me a drink, because he thought I was that awesome

#3 – Spending time with family and new friends

#2 -Some chick yelled from her car to me “Yo, Girl In The Blonde, you hot as f*#k!”

#1 – Dancing and singing with the drag show until my pedometer fell off! I swear we heard “Born This Way” by Gaga at least two or three times, but we all didn’t care. It was a blast! The Chicago and Dolly Parton bits were also fandizzle.

Posted in Bi-winning, Drag Queens. RuPaul, Free Food, inspiration, Lady Gaga, love, Pole Tricks, Rainbows, RuPauls Drag race, Stripper Shoes | Leave a comment

An Ode/Sonnet to my RuPaul Shirt

Posted on October 2, 2011 by purrrentice

Look how delightfully inconsistent I’m going to be this weekend! No post for a couple weeks, and then two pop out of nowhere in a couple days. What can I say? I promised to do some writing, and I did!

I mentioned feeling exhausted a couple days ago, and on Friday morning, I hit the wall. I was feeling hormonal, tired, feverish and kinda grumpy. This was when I knew it was time to unleash…my lucky shirt. I won it while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race at a gay bar.

It is a more Prenticey and sexy version of the Three Wolf Moon shirt. Basically…

Now, I know nobody else who owns this shirt, but I truly believe this supernatural garment has over 9,000 times the magical abilities as three wolf moon. AND it looks totally awesome. I actually have two shirts. One is an XXL, and I plan to craft it into an 80’s-style, shirt dress talisman for nights when I need a little luck with a pair of leopard leggings to match.

I ♥ this shirt so much that I wrote a sonnet about it. Enjoy.

My Magical RuPaul Shirt

When dawning days desperately need magic,
I have a fever, 99.3,
my mood’s amiss, the world seems so tragic,
until I call the power of a tee, 

On days like this not any shirt will do,
no slinky blouse nor flirty baby doll,
nor tanks or camis I can slip into,
for on a day like this I need RuPaul!

The RuPaul Shirt’s power is quite obscene.
Low self esteem nor drama can go far,
as I transform into a fierce-ass queen,
cloaked in this garment, won at a gay bar.

Some may find my lucky shirt a quirk,
to skeptics I say “Girl, you better work!”

Posted in Beauty, blogging, Captain EO, Drag Queens. RuPaul, Freelance Prentice, Funny Poetry, leopard, poetry, RuPauls Drag race, shenanigans, sonnet, writing | 3 Comments

Being This Fabulous is Exhausting!

Posted on September 30, 2011 by purrrentice

I feel bad that I haven’t written on this blog lately. My life has been a whirlwind of chaos, but it’s good chaos, even without chocolate rain.

I’m writing and assisting and voicing and working and working out and inquiring my adorable, round butt off, and I look forward to the dust settling after all this. I’m pretty tired and starting to feel run down. I need to recharge emotionally and physically. I also need to finish some fun, personal writing projects.

This is what happens when you’re as fabulous as The Prentice, but it’s all good. I think this weekend I will relax, catch-up on a bit of housework and maybe do some leisurely writing. Then I will have more note-worthy material to blog about!

Posted in blogging, Creative Studios, Cutie Mark, Derpy Hooves, Freelance Prentice, My Little Pony, Phone Voice, Pinkie Pie, Voice acting, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Freelance Prentice: With More Sh*t to do Than You Can Wave a Stick At

Posted on September 14, 2011 by purrrentice

So fabulous! Change is good.

Holy crap! I feel so bad that I haven’t posted lately. I’ve been a busy bee! You may have noticed my blog had some work done, like botox, ass lift, new title, implants, etc. It’s time for some change, and there will be more to come! That being said, I’ve got a lot of new projects going on.

Voice Over
my voice over lessons are going well. I’m tearing through them and making tons of

Awww shucks. I'm not that awesome...okay...maybe I am...

progress. I spend most of my VO time hanging with the fabulous Deborah Richards, working with and watching other talent, and doing auditions and stuff. I’m about to learn about the magical world of editing, too. Deborah wants me to learn everything, and I squeed when I heard her refer to me as her protégé to a person on the phone. That makes me like the Twilight Sparkle of VO! Yes yes yes yes yes yes!

Creative Studios of Atlanta
I’m assisting CSA with all kinds of stuff, from preparing class materials to data entry (eeew) to helping run seminars. I had a blast helping at a casting seminar with the tweens class. This gig is so awesome! I love it! I can’t wait to audit some acting classes. I’ve already learned a lot. Yay!

Memini
The music studio Nick was interning with is closed, but one of the previous owners has his eye on Nick and me for work. He and his associate are doing a documentary about honor killings and their disturbing presence in the UK and US. Once they get a grant, we could get paid to work with them! For now, I’m writing for Memini, a site devoted to telling the stories of girls murdered by their families for things as simple as wanting to get an education or falling in love with somebody the family deems unsuitable. I’m writing memorials, to remember and pay tribute to these women whose existence was almost erased by primitive traditions. Here is the first one I wrote about Shafilea Ahmed.

Shafilea wrote poetry during her live to deal with the pain of being torn apart by two cultures, so I want to share her work today:

 ‘Happy Families 

I don’t pretend like we’re the perfect family no more
Desire to live is burning
My stomach is turning
But all they think about is honour
I was like a normal teenage kid
Didn’t ask 2 much
I jus wanted to fit in
But my culture was different
But my family ignored
Now I’m sitting here
Playing happy families
Still crying tears
But no we’re a happy family
I have these fears
I wish, I wish, I wish
For a happy family
I lay in bed hoping the next day would be better
It was just a thought
Because it never happened no
But I still dream of this today yeah hey
I wish my parents would be proud of wot I done
Instead it’s you’ve have bought shame
Or something else lame
I don’t wanna hear this no more
No no no.

 
I feel trapped 

I feel trapped, so stuck I don’t wot 2 do the feeling is mutual, I don’t know how to explain
Im a trapped so trapped (so trapped )
Now u know where I stand, when I fall back I got no where else to land
I don’t know how to say
I’m trapped so trapped I’m trapped wit u.
It was my last year in school, so happy with my friends I got lots to do —
But came this day when everything changed
I came home it seemed like a normal day
But sumthing wasn’t right —-
I wish I coulda changed the event
I shoulda killed myself instead
I’d rather have been dead
Coz now I have a burden on my chest
And no it won’t go away, the guilt, the pain
When I look back on things I coulda changed coulda stop, prevented, exchanged
But i had to turn out this way (so trapped)
Now I’m sitting on my window bay
Looking at the rain —-
Drowning sorrow and pain
Will this ever go away —-
I feel trapped so trapped, I’m trapped
I’m trapped, so trapped I’m trapped
(I don’t know wot do) I feel trapped.
But my family ignored

Posted in blogging, Bronies, Cutie Mark, Derpy Hooves, Freelance Prentice, My Little Pony, office, Phone Voice, poetry, receptionist, reindeer, Uncategorized, Voice acting, writing | 1 Comment

Dragon*Con Virgin No More!

Posted on September 8, 2011 by purrrentice

For the first time ever, I attended Dragon*Con. I’ve been to other cons in the past, but I’ve never experienced one so big! (That’s what she said.) Anyways, I want to do a full con report on what I experienced as I was touched for the very first time…by Dragon*Con.

Friday

Yup yup yup!

I was a little later hitting the con than I wanted because I had to make some finishing touches to my costumes, because let’s face it. Once you hit the con, you will not have enough down time for crafting and sewing and whatnot. Nick and I picked-up our buddy Dougie Fresh, and we drove to Nerdy-gras. Amazingly, we did not have to wait at all to sign-in and get our badges. I had heard horror stories about five hour lines, and with our free time, Nick, Doug and I started to get our bearings over the huge event and people watch like mad. We also hit some panel about the apocalypse. It was alright. After I had an ever-so-delightful voice lesson, we had dinner at some Mexican joint with friends, attended a brony panel with PMVs, and hit a few Magical Parties before calling it a night.

The Angry-ass Bird eats birds in hot sauce. Look at that cannibalistic hottie! She don't give a f*ck!

Saturday

I dressed as an Angry Bird this day, and I learned a hard lesson. Wearing a costume that requires heels and fur is a bad idea. I walked a mile to the parade, and that was totally worth it! The parade was great. Then I went to the Richard Garfield panel with my husband and a couple Magical Friends. It was very interesting, and it was air conditioned with chairs. Then we had lunch at Hooters and mingled around the con. I was going to attend a voice acting panel, but the combination of heat, sore feet, hidden lines and nowhere to sit caused a meltdown. We went home, rested-up and came back to party and attend The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That was a bit of a bust though, since once again the line was in some random place, and the show started over an hour late.

Sunday

Partying Partying! Fun Fun Fun Fun!

Nick and I got a late start on Sunday, and we met our friend Trevor for lunch at Hooters (we clearly enjoyed Hooters). Then we hung-out in the game room for a long time with Magical Friends, and I had a job interview with the owners of Creative Studios Atlanta, the place where I’m doing VO. It went quite well, despite the fact I was dressed as The Cheat’s Hot Mom.

After that, we went back to the game room, before deciding to explore and find the Con Suite. Joie told us they had delicious free food. We went and were amused to be served sandwich meat in a tray. Mmmmmm ham! We went back to the game room, had gyros with the Magical Friends, and just before Nick and I decided to bail on this meh day, things got really crunk.

We joined my friend Jamie Chambers in his VIP area at karaoke in the Hilton, and it was awesome! Robin Thorsen and Amy Okuda from The Guild joined us for drinks and a group singing session of California Girls. People thought our friend Doug was Fargo from Eureka, too, which was hilarious! Nick and Doug gave The Guild’s entourage/bodyguards(?) the last of our Dragonberry Rum, and the power of sharing and friendship moved them to tears…and the liquor cabinet. This is where things get hazy, but all I know is there was dancing, networking, crunkeness and a fabulous Dougie/Prentice duet of Cee Lo Green’s F*ck You.

Conclusion

Overall, I had a pretty good time at Dragon*Con. I’m not sure I would pay that much to go again. Maybe I will buy passes soon to maximize my value. The con is so large that it is hard to navigate, and I feel the vastness of it hinders the feeling of intimacy and unity that I enjoy so much at smaller events. I think Dragon*Con should stop selling tickets at a certain point. Sold out! Bigger is not always better, and I feel bad for those hotels because I think the overload of sweaty people made their air conditioning systems explode. It was so hot!

Perhaps my next issue stems from my years of movie theatre work, but Dragon*Con needs to handle lines for events better. There were times when I couldn’t find out where a line for a panel was because it was moved to some random location, and nobody knew where I could find it. Sheesh! As fun as panels are, we all know Geek-nic is all about parties in costumes…and BOOBIES! I swear to Betsy, they should change the name to Boobie*Con because I saw waaaaay more titties than dragons. I’m not complaining though.

The most important lesson I learned is to make better costume choices next time. No heels and no fur, unless I want to have bruised feet and a heat stroke. The highlights of this con to me were partying VIP at the Hilton with celebs and booze, eating with friends at Hooters, and boobies!!!

But the very best part of Dragon*Con, above all the shenanigans, celebrities, free drinks and scandalous costumes, was spending time with my very best friend:

Joie Brown and Prentice Osborne: BFFs since 20X6!

Posted in Angry Birds, Beauty, BFF, Bronies, Cee Lo Greem, Cosplay, Cutie Mark, Eggs, Free Food, Fuck You, Job hunting, Job Interview, Joie Brown, Magic the Gathering, My Little Pony, Pinkie Pie, Voice acting, We we we so excited | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Cee Lo Green & The Little Caesars Girl

Posted on August 27, 2011 by purrrentice

Today I’m going to commemorate one of the most impressive people I’ve ever seen within fifty feet of me. No. This person is no executive or manager or musical performer or superhero or anything like that. I’m talking about the Little Caesars sign spinner girl on Roswell Road.

I’ve always wondered about the science behind sign spinners. Do they actually increase business and brand awareness? Well, this girl answered my question, because I’ve seen her in the past (the most recent time a week ago), and she’s vividly on my mind. This girl is ridiculously ridiculous, and she, like me, takes creative license with even the most mundane, retarded, mindless work.

Not only does this girl hold a Little Caesars sign and spin it around. No. That is not enough to meet this girl and my standards of awesomeness. Instead of slouching, rolling her eyes or talking on her cell like most sign holders, she does more. Much more. The chick hula hoops, yo-yos, holds the sign gracefully AND smiles really big…all at the same time! If that doesn’t make you want to eat a five dollar, hot-n-ready, one topping pizza pizza, nothing will. It actually makes me want to buy her a pizza.

If I were a swanky, rich, successful CEO and saw her, I would make my driver stop the car in mid-traffic, and I would offer her a six figure salary to do whatever for my company. It doesn’t even matter what that “whatever” is because I already know this gal is gonna be a hot commodity once she ditches the pizza joint to chase her dreams.

Betch! You better learn to juggle!

Anyways, hopefully somebody will notice the Little Caesars girl inside of me someday (and notice her, too, of course!. Perhaps I should learn to juggle and do pole tricks. For now, here is another riveting song parody for you to enjoy:

Forget Food
To Forget You by Cee-Lo Green

I see you drivin’ round town,
without the food you love, and I’m like,
forget you! (Ooo ooo ooo!)
I guess your ham and cheese Hot Pockets wasn’t enough,
I’m like, forget you and,
forget your food.

Said, at 2:45 the cleaning goes live.
Ha! Now ain’t that some shhh…
And though there’s junk in the ice chest,
I still wish you the best. Don’t forget your food!

Baby, I’m sorry,
I threw out your calamari,
but by Monday it would be worse for wear.
I’ll l save your bento box,
but not your shari, fish and gari,
Throwing out fresh sushi seems unfair.

I pity the food that’s left behind by you!
Oooh! Well, I’ve got some news for you.
Yeah, go run and get your fruit smoothie blend.

I see you drivin’ round town,
without the food you love, and I’m like,
forget you! (Ooo ooo ooo!)
I guess your ham and cheese Hot Pockets wasn’t enough,
I’m like, forget you and,
forget your food.

Said, at 2:45 the cleaning goes live.
Ha! Now ain’t that some shhh…
And though there’s junk in the ice chest,
I still wish you the best. Don’t forget your food!

Posted in blogging, chores, Fuck You, Job hunting, Job Interview, meme, Need New Job, office, parody, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, song writing, writing | 2 Comments

Simultaneously Spoiled and Deprived

Posted on August 21, 2011 by purrrentice

Sorry for the late post. I’ve been so busy! This has been a strange week or so. I’ve dealt with a lot of drama and stressfeul bullshit, but on the other hand, I’ve received some good praise.

One of our brands is having a series of conferences, so clearly, my life has been hell for a couple weeks. This week, I thought I was really going to lose it for real! A few tasks got out of hand. Of course, I made it work, even if it cost me a few tears and a fever. I just kind of shut down after quittin’ time, especially when I was feverish. Damn! A week’s worth of productive time lost to fever induced exhaustion and depression. Oh well.

I want presents!!!! I want presennnnnnnnts! 4 noses!?

It’s funny though because I’ve received presents and praise this week, too. One of the franchise presidents used to be a receptionist, and she sent me a swanky, super adorable watch as a thank you. One of the girls who went to a trade show brought me makeup swag, too. I also got free coffee, which really “perked” me up!

Anyways, I’m keeping this post brief because I have so much to get done today, and I just don’t know if it’s going to happen. I have walls to paint, stencils to stencil, tile floors to demolish and the whole house to clean! Egad! This week’s poem focused on the joys of eating your lunch (my lunch specifically) instead of threats of trashing forgotten good. I’ve been wanting to pay homage to my favorite lunch of the summer:

Tomato Sandwich

An ode by Prentice Osborne

There is one thing,
that I forget how much I love until,
my Dad’s garden reminds me,
with a surplus.
I see that bulging, veggie-filled bag.
It becomes my obsession with my favorite season,

Summertime

Tomato Sandwich

A tomato sandwich only works with fresh tomatoes,
not the supermarket ones,
bred to superficial perfection,
and artificially ripened with ethylene gas.
No.
The best sandwich tomato is big,
so big that it split  a little while on the plant.
It’s okay, Just cut around it.
Good tomatoes have shape and seeds inside,
that spill on the cutting board.

I don’t peel the fruit,
that’s fruitless labor,
I love the thin skin,
so I simply place the slices,
between slices of bread,
with salt and pepper,
and a little mayo.
Some people use butter,
and I find that odd.

One bite, and I’m blissful.
The salty, sweet juice dribbles,
and lands sometimes on the bread,
and sometimes on my chin.
The mess is no big deal.
It takes me back,
to when my mommy made me sandwiches.

It’s crazy to think that a tomato,
brings the same, eye-closing, involuntary “Mmmm” moment
as chocolaty, fat-filled indulgences.
I can’t beat myself-up over a tomato sandwich.
It’s relatively healthy,
and brings me too much joy,
more than it probably should.

Don’t mistake this for the beginning of a BLT,
or a fraction of a turkey club.
This is a tomato sandwich,
simple yet an experience all its own,
and it’s my favorite lunch.

Posted in Beauty, blogging, chores, Funny Poetry, leopard, Lunch box, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, writing | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Is there anything you can’t do? Well, I struggle with the top shelf.

Posted on August 13, 2011 by purrrentice

In my personal e-mail signature, I refer to myself as a writer, salesmodel and dabbler in all that is awesome. I’ve been doing the dabbling a lot this past week or so, and it has been, in fact, awesome!

I wasn’t going to talk about this for a while, until I got my feet wet in it, but low and behold, I have already experienced and experience so ironic and silly that I HAVE to tell the story. So here I go. I’m coming out of the voice actor closet, after just a week.

After a few weeks of research and convincing, my husband persuaded me to talk to a voice over teacher about lessons. Her name is Deborah, and I freaking love her already. She seemed impressed at my understanding of the business (don’t quit your day job) and my willingness/ability to learn quickly. I had my first lesson last Saturday, and it was life changing. I had so much fun, and I haven’t felt that much like myself in a long time.

What was funny though was what happened that day. Another student named Chris was wrapping-up a few auditions in the booth when I came in. There was one more Deborah wanted him to try, but it was a dialogue between a man and a woman. Chris looked at me and asked “how old are you?” I told him “26,” and he exclaimed, “She could do this with me, right?”  Deb asked me if I was game to try, and I was like “Sure. What’s the part?”

“It looks like you need to be a sarcastic, angsty, uninterested receptionist or admin.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

I said, “Ummm…I think I can handle that.” (LOL)

I did the bit with Chris, and we got the gig! If I couldn’t nail that role, I don’t know who could. Deborah was thrilled that I could make such a great character and that I was willing to just jump-in and learn as I go. I can’t wait to do more work! this may be my calling (and writing, too! Of course!)

This week also marks the end of my internship with Pretty in my Pocket. I was shocked when I got my two-weeks-notice, but I guess it was and internship that had to end eventually. I did over 400 beauty reviews for them on various makeup and beauty products, and I really pushed for them to keep me on file and in their minds for future opportunities. The launch for the site is this fall, so we’ll see what happens.

It's a pain in the ass, but it's soooooooo cool!

In case I haven’t been doing enough this past week or so, I’ve also been stenciling leopard print designs in my hallway, testing my water color skills while making Chi’s Sweet Home-style portraits of my cats for this cool picture

Kitties!

Awww. My cake matches my brother!

screen Joie gave me, and I made my brother this kick-ass, psychedelic, hippy-inspired, tie dye cheesecake for his birthday.

I have also written a few fridge songs in advance because I just had the inspiration inside me last week. I even took it upon myself to illustrate my own water color pic for this one, so Joie can finish some more projects before I ask her to do an illo for me. One of my coworkers called me Prentianna after this one. ♥ Enjoy:

Mozzarella
To Umbrella by Rhianna

Artichoke hearts
on a pizza sliced in eight parts,
Italian cuisine
should be a lunchtime star,
but you left it in the dark,
now it’s time to disembark ,
And that’s when you see me there
by the fridge, pizza ensnared,
Because

When Friday comes, food’s gone forever
I show no mercy whatsoever,
not even for your pizza, Friend,
Took an oath I’ma stick it out till the end,
that slice looks more yummy than ever
with a crunchy thin crust and it’s smothered
with pepperoni and mozzarella
with pepperoni and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Sausage and mozzarella
(Ella ella an-cho-vies)
Pineapple and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Mushrooms and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Mellow Mushroom, Papa John’s
Pizza Hut, with parmesan
Leftover Fellini’s,
Cold pizza’s something we all love
So go make red pepper flakes pour
and eat it now or nevermore,
Because

When Friday comes, food’s gone forever
I show no mercy whatsoever,
not even for your pizza, Friend,
Took an oath I’ma stick it out till the end
that slice looks more yummy than ever
with a crunchy thin crust and it’s smothered
with pepperoni and mozzarella
with pepperoni and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Peppers and mozzarella
(Ella ella an-cho-vies)
Olives and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Canadian Bacon and mozzarella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Posted in Beauty, blogging, chores, Epic, Makeup Reviews, office, Phone Voice, PRIMP, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, song writing, Winning Rhianna, writing | 4 Comments

The Mini Fridge Custody Battle

Posted on August 11, 2011 by purrrentice

Before I discuss the madness that is the mini breakroom, I forgot to insert this hilarious image into my Captain Planet post! I thought it pertained to the whole save the planet/ clean the fridge crossover:

This is the break room version of global warming: Step 1 - put your frozen dinner in an abandoned bag of ice in the bottom of the freezer for safekeeping. Step 2 - Frezzer malfunctions during power flash. Step 3 - Frezzer freezes again Step 4 - Frozen Caveman in the office ice caps

Strangely enough, the smaller break room at our office has always been a bigger problem than the big one. Let us not forget the epic dish mountains!  I have also mentioned the questionable mini fridge before. Ever since I started working here, the delegation of “Who is going to clean the mini fridge” has bounced between me and a couple girls in marketing. They would get lazy, and ask me to clean it. Then they would get tired of their food getting thrown away and ask to do it themselves, and this loops in variations over and over again. Well, guess what? Since the two people that fight for fridge custody are no longer working here, my services have been called upon again, after nobody has touched the fridge in probably months:

It’s actually not as bad as I expected…

Posted in blogging, Captain Planet, Cheese, chores, epic fail, Free Food, Frozen Caveman, office, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, yogurt | 2 Comments