On the Verge of the Verge

This week was a doozie. I’m going to play plus minus plus and throw in funny work poems. First, here is a limerick I wrote to inform the office that the gigantic, dinosaur printer was broken:

The printer is broken and sad,
Please do not get cranky and mad,
It is out of commission,
but fear not! Please listen!
It is just for today, so be glad!

There were a couple pluses for the week. I hit the studio to do my lines for My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Abridged. My Rarity is going to blow your minds. It was a ton of fun! Perhaps I will take pics and/or video the next session. I also met-up with some friends that night and hit a fun birthday party the next night. I had a blog posted this week about pants and another with a Pinkie Pie reference about lipstick.

As for minuses, where do I begin?  How about minutes after I clocked-in on Tuesday? I was scolded for clocking-out at 4:59 last week, and I was a five minutes late on Monday. This offended me. 99% of the time I am in between 7:55 and 7:58 and out between 5:02 to 5:15. My routine good doings matter not. I don’t even want to discuss the horrific, karaoke faux pas that my husband signed-me up for against my will. Must…repress…bad…singing…I freaking hate karaoke, unless it is at a Korean Karaoke room or a karaoke bar. Even then, I don’t like it much. I suppose I’m not really as great a performer as I’d like to be. Repress!

Madea never intended for Grit Ball to be used on little girls. C'est la vie.

I was so strung-out by Thursday that I really wanted to call-in sick. I have a deep fear of calling-out, which is blog worthy in itself. I decided to go to work first and see how things went. Within about ten minutes, I realized it wasn’t happening, and I asked to go home. I DO have lots of sick time to use, and I feel like it was considerate of me to come-in and give my manager time to make arrangements (especially since there are only 2.5 people in my department now). My manager let me leave after a few hours, saying that today I could go, but she won’t be able to make this happen every time. And like every time I try to use sick time, it was soon thrown in my face like a pot full of steamy, cheese grits.

Today was the worst of all. I actually felt great at first, since I slept all day Thursday. I planned on getting gas and hitting the Home Depot during lunch. What I didn’t know when I hit the QT was my husband borrowed my credit card and forgot to return it. I was stranded at the gas station, frantically trying to get gas in my empty car. I suppose the conversation I had with Nick was in Chinese, because he never found me. I had to coast back to work on gas fumes, and I was eight minutes late. Still stressed about the email scolding, I was proactive and explained to my manager what happened. She didn’t care. She said that this combined with my leaving early “ looks really bad.” When I asked why, because the two had nothing to do with one another, she said that I should have gotten gas yesterday during my sick time, and things like this should not happen again. I felt bullied. I can’t win. Nothing I do is good enough, and the only time I’m noticed is when I do something bad, like clock-out at 4:59 or marry a man who forgets shit sometimes.

Bad Prentice! You suck!

On top of that, I got another rejection letter for my kids’ book series.

Poor Joie is having a rough week, too, and she didn’t have time to finish the epic fridge piece we planned. No worries though. I plan to post this wicked fridge piece next week and it should be quite popular

Instead, I whipped-up this poem in about ten or so minutes. I may not be a winner right now, but at least I’m fast:

An acrostic is a poem or other form of writing in which the first letter, syllable or word of each line, paragraph or other recurring feature in the text spells out a word or a message.

Remember it is Friday,

Everybody, heed my memo,

For the love of all the nachos,

Ravioli and pimento,

Immediately, Instantaneously,

Go to the break room, now.

Eat all of your yummy chow.

Remove the food, or so I vow,

A catastrophic cleaning,

The fridge will be aflame,

Only because you never came,

Remember, you’re to blame!

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in Beauty, blogging, Bronies, bullying, Cheese, Childrens' books, chores, epic fail, Funny Poetry, limerick, managers, MLP FiM Abridged, Mr. Socks, My Little Pony, Need New Job, office, Pinkie Pie, poetry, QT, Rarity, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, Worst song ever, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to On the Verge of the Verge

  1. Joie says:

    Eff this week. This is all I have to say for now.

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