Oh snap! I fell off the horse with this Throwback: Prentice’s College Poetry Porgfolio blog series. Well, I’m back in the saddle, and speaking of falling off a horse, here is my newest Derpy Con South promo video:

The artwork was done by the talented, smart and beautiful Joie Brown. We got to work on a project together that we didn’t create ourselves. It was fun! This read was a challenge for me though. The lighter version of Beignet that was chosen was already a new character for me to develop alone, but now I had to make her do her own bad ass impression of Batman? I had to pull a Tim Gunn and make it work! And werk I did!

Now for the poem. We were supposed to do a series of themed poetry in class. I decided to do multiple forms with one consistent theme: PMS. I liked the idea so much that I continued the project with new forms we did in class, and here is what I turned-in at the end of the semester.

Premenstrual Syndrome

Chips

One day I wept
for a most unfortunate loss.
I wanted potato chips,
and the bag was empty

The Perfect Man

The perfect man loves me
for who I am.
He thinks I’m beautiful
every day.
He would stop at nothing
to satisfy me.
The perfect man is unafraid
to purchase tampons.

Cinquain Granny Panties

Cotton
Elastic torn
Ugly floral pattern
Girls wear them while boys dream of thongs
Panties

Inflation

When balloons are bloated with air,
it’s a gleeful and gladsome affair.
But when women inflate,
they’re irked and irate,
And when both burst they give quite a scare.

Uterine Woe

Uterine woe,
blow by blow, cramps
show no mercy

Female Foreboding
Featuring a quote from Dolly Parton’s PMS Blues

The end of the world has many signs,
Omens and plagues that intertwine,
But there’s something worse we can’t suppress
The God almighty, slap somebody
“Teeth a clenchin’, fluid retention
Head a swellin’, can’t stop yellin’
Moods a swingin’, tears a slingin’
Nothin’ fits me, when it hits me
Rantin’, ravin’, misbehavin’”
Wrath of PMS.

Balance Haiku

estrogen balance
makes me sweeter than cherries
bitter like lemon

Inopportune Romance

He wants to make love
I say “don’t even try”
and give him a shove

He then asks me why
I tell him “it’s girl stuff”
He creeps up my thigh

I state “that’s enough”
“My breast hurt. My back aches”
He makes sexy rebuffs

“This is a mistake”
He takes of my pants
“Oh for goodness sake”

Inopportune romance
is awkward love, yet
a great circumstance
One rarely regrets