Working On My Day Off

I am on vacation this week! Every Friday last summer, the office got to leave two hours early, except for the customer service team and your’s truly.  In lieu of leaving early, it was decided that we would get comp time to use later. There was a big debate on whether it was worth paying me my normal hourly rate, overtime (because at that time I was scheduled over 40 hours each week), AND two hours of paid time off per Friday so I could sit all by myself for two hours. Well, they decided it was, so I am having a three-day-long summer vacation now, during the first week of December.

It’s been a crazy few days off because I keep getting phone calls from the girl who is now covering me at the front desk. I’m not upset at her though. I know how she feels, and I want to help any way I can. The office is expecting her to do stuff she isn’t supposed to worry about and isn’t trained for. It’s more like I’ve been on call than on holiday, but it’s nice to know that the receptionist is a keystone species in the delicate, corporate, office ecosystem. I’m like that microscopic plankton that nobody thinks about until it’s extinct and all the other animals starve and suffocate in stank water.

Since I wasn’t at work today, the fridge was not cleaned, so obviously there was no fridge cleaning memo. I will, however, still post an old nugget of tidy, literary joy for you, my sweet blog readers, because I like you. Never underestimate the power of the receptionist liking (or not liking) you.

This was one of my bosses, and he decided to take-on a superhero approach to entertain the crazy makeup consultant ladies at conference and get them to book more shows. He even surprised a couple consultants during their shows with enzyme peels, flowers and big, plush muscles.Captain Enzyme really wanted me to help his video get to 5,00 hits. I felt like Pam in that episode of The Office when Michael wants her to cook a few hundred hot dogs for Beach Day in like ten minutes. I personally like Captain Enzyme because he fights the evils of scaly, gross skin with the power of green exfoliation gel. He even gave us free samples. Who couldn’t love that, right? Anyways, the man behind the mask finally decided to ditch the office scene and open his own franchise (Good for him!), and I dedicated the fridge poem on his last day to him, since he was one of my biggest fans. For Captain Enzyme and his alter ego, Tom, I wrote a Pantoum,  a poem of four line stanzas in which the 2nd and 4th lines become the 1st and 3rd of the next, and the last line is often the same as the first.

Captain Enzyme Soars

Captain Enzyme soars,
across the Astral Nation,
one last patrol, as he restores,
smooth skin to all with exfoliation!

In collaboration,
Tom, his alter ego,
books Aloette home celebrations,
to help his franchise grow.

Enzyme’s day was slow,
since Tom took-up the slack,
so he decided to go,
to the break room for a snack.

Prentice was under attack,
held by some monstrous, take-out slime!
Captain Enzyme must fight back,
and defeat the moldy, junk food grime!

Tom came in just the nick of time!
The duo worked their martial arts,
and with both of their powers combined,
they tore that gross, fridge mess apart!

In the sunset the men depart,
and as the leave our office doors,
we keep their spirits in our hearts,
as Tom and Captain Enzyme soar!


About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in blogging, chores, exfoliate, holidays, managers, office, poetry, receptionist, refrigerator, shenanigans, superhero, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Working On My Day Off

  1. Pingback: Pantoum-monium! | Freelance Prentice

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