This is Terrence, the disgruntled trash turkey. He is a very mean turkey. He is so mean that instead of saying “Gobble!” like most happy turkeys, he shrieks “Grrrble!” He has taken temporary refuge in our trash can until Thanksgiving is over. Don’t look for him, for he is not sociable, and he might bite. He is also smelly, probably because he’s in the garbage. This deranged turkey also has fangs and red eyes. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. He’s some kind of freak of nature.

Even more than company and possibly being eaten, Terrence hates when I have to throw garbage into his house. I know. That’s completely unreasonable. I mean, c’mon! He’s living in a trash can. I would try to reason with him, but he really scares me. I hope he’ll leave soon.

So, before you head home for a long weekend of delicious Thanksgiving dinner, piles of leftovers, holiday shopping, football games and time with family and dear friends, please, please take your food from the fridge with you (By 1:45). I’m begging you. Don’t make me fight Terrence, the disgruntled trash turkey. I’m tough…but not that tough!