Eat Your Heart Out, Nancy Drew!

I got over my quarter life crisis temper tantrum from Monday, and I’m back to my old, write retarded stuff, watch silly cartoons, job hunting self. I realize I haven’t posted my latest blogs for work. Here’s one about the im-pore-tance of exfoliation, one about April being Prevention of Animal Cruelty Month, and one about Kate Middleton’s shopping adventures. I also have one about this pizza that should come out next week:

I couldn't decide between the fashion article and this...so I wrote both.

Oooh. Here also is a video of the amazing Tamra Compton making me purdy:

This week I decided to do a Nancy Drew story, minus the Nancy Drew and plus me, the Eater Bunny and my nasty office fridge. Joie agreed to do an illustration the day before, and I was completely taken by surprise by this piece. I mean, I was expecting a quickie sketch. I revised my story to try and make it worthy of such a masterpiece:

Detective Prentice & and the Hare-Raising Salad Caper

Wow...Like Wow. I have no words, so I'll just make an "Ooh" face.

Prentice sighed as she folded the broad edge of a cardboard box on a stormy Wednesday afternoon. It was a busy day, with lots to do, but this receptionist sighed, “I wish a fun adventure would come my way.” She absentmindedly stuck a label on the box. It was then when she noticed Kristina walking by, wearing a confused and disgruntled frown.

“Why the long face, Kristina?” Prentice asked.

“The craziest thing happened!” She exclaimed. “Somebody stole my lunch!”

“Are you serious?” Prentice gasped. “That’s terrible!”

“I know,” Kristina grumbled. “Now I have to go out in this nasty weather for lunch, while somebody is chomping on my delicious, homemade salad.”

Kristina opened her umbrella left the office in a huff, leaving the receptionist to think on the matter whilst filling her folded boxes. After shipping the packages, Prentice sent an email to the office:

Hello, Everybody.

I wanted to inform you that we have a lunch thief among us! Please refrain from taking food that isn’t yours. That’s somebody’s meal you’re pilfering, for Pete’s sake! Thanks!

Prentice thought nothing of the ordeal until the next day, when she was gossiping with Darshan. “What?” Prentice flinched at the news she received. Stephanie’s snow peas were missing, and Ashley’s carrot sticks were gone, too. On top of that, Kristina received a strange, anonymous gift that morning. Darshan jumped with a start as Prentice pounded her small fist atop her desk. “This is no longer just an inconsiderate happenstance! There’s a mystery to solve, and Detective Prentice is on the case!” The overenthusiastic admin leapt from her chair and darted off. “Well, somebody drank too much coffee today,” Darshan chuckled.

Ashley and Stephanie had no leads to the snack bandit, so Prentice asked Kristina to bring the odd gift to the front desk.  Hoping for a hint or clue from the mysterious present, the girl was shocked when Kristina handed her an elaborately decorated Easter egg. It had slipped Prentice’s mind that the holiday was drawing near. Glitter, colorful gems and rainbow swirls adorned the egg’s delicate surface. “I don’t know who would take the time to bedazzle an egg for me,” Kristina admitted. “I mean, how bizarre is this?” Prentice admired the egg, but she noticed its weight felt odd. “Hmmm…I don’t think it’s hard boiled.” She shook the Easter egg by her ear and cracked it on her desk. “No!” Kristina cried, as Prentice broke the egg. Both girls went silent as candies fell instead of eggy innards. “Oh snap!” Prentice cried, dropping the broken shells. Kristina gaped at the spot where a yolk should have splattered on the front desk. “This is freaking me out, Detective.” Prentice tried to figure out how a normal chicken egg could be filled with candy to no avail.

Friday came, and Prentice was grumpily stuffing envelopes. She wasn’t annoyed with the task so much as the frustrating mystery festering in her skull. The secretarial super sleuth couldn’t catch the lunch burglar without a lead, and the peculiar egg still left her bamboozled. She looked up from her envelopes to see Kristina and a grouchy, gabbing gaggle of women approach the reception area. “Prentice, did you clean the fridge early today?” Kristina desperately asked. “We bought veggie wraps and salad for the big meeting today, but they vanished!” The receptionist’s eyes grew big with horror. “Oh no. I won’t clean the fridge-out until 3:25, but –” The starving stampede was suddenly split by Stephanie and Ashley with jeweled eggs in hand. “Do you have any idea what these are?” They asked in sync.

All the commotion was too much, and with a baffled throng at her heels, Prentice bolted to the break room. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for anything out of place, but she saw nothing, other than dishes in the sink and a white, plastic bag on the floor. “How messy,” Prentice mumbled while swinging the fridge door open.  She hit the floor, as hundreds of magical, candy-filled eggs spilled from the fridge and buried her. Dazed, Prentice dug her way out of the Easter avalanche. “Oh, my head.” She moaned. “Wait, what is that?” She pointed to the plastic bag, but it wasn’t a bag at all. It was a giant, white bunny! “There’s the salad stealer!” Detective Prentice cried. “Catch it!

Prentice, Kristina, Stephanie, Ashley and the others chased the bunny across the office. The rabbit was agile, jumping over cubicles, under desks and atop the printer, making quite a mess of the place. Memos flew and paperclips scattered. They cornered the crook in a cubicle when Prentice felt a pang of guilt. The bunny was so scared that it trembled. She picked it up, and the rabbit magically made an egg appear between its paws. “Good golly, everybody!” Prentice giggled. “This is the Easter Bunny!” All the hungry ladies raised skeptical brows at the girl and her fluffy friend, but Detective Prentice continued.

“He probably sought shelter from the rain on Wednesday and got lost. He then got hungry and –”

Kristina excitedly interrupted, “And ate all the vegetables! The salads! The peas!  The veggie wraps! The carrots!”

“Indubitably, Kristina! The Easter Bunny would never want to take food without paying, so he repaid the victims the only way he knew how, with his magical, candy eggs!”

The Easter Bunny confirmed the answer with a nod, and Prentice said “Now that was a hare-raising mystery!” Everybody laughed in agreement, and to celebrate the case being solved, the big meeting was moved to a fancy restaurant. The Easter Bunny was treated to an all-you-can-eat salad bar and Detective Prentice to a delicious, gourmet cheeseburger with curly fries.

The End

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in Beauty, BFF, blogging, Childrens' books, chores, Easter, Easter Eggs, exfoliation, Illustrator, Joie Brown, Kate Middleton, Mystery, office, portrait, quarter life crisis, receptionist, refrigerator, Royal Wedding, shenanigans, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Eat Your Heart Out, Nancy Drew!

  1. Joie says:

    The picture isn’t showing up! :O My computer must be broken again. (Wait it DOES have a virus, come to think of it…. ) WAAAAAH

  2. Joie says:

    Oh I honestly just thought it was my own computer struggling with life after it’s nasty attack. 😄

    Man do I love this story. I picture those eggs as being prettier than Fabrege eggs, cuz it’s like, the Easter Bunny, yo! 😀

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