A Throwback Throw Down: Poetry Month Rap Realness

I’ve decided after much thought that I will include my song parodies and such in my Poetry Month Showcase. Even if they are not traditional, original poems, it does take some poetic prowess to match words to lyrics in a new context. Also, they are fun!

My next installment of Throwback April involves an epic dish battle. I was told not to mess with the mini break room on Marketing’s turf. Problem was, nobody cleaned it at all, so eventually when things got nasty, I had to do the dirty work. This included climbing/cleaning the summit of Mount Icky and doing an archaeological dig through a long forgotten ice cave filled with expired yogurt. There was some microwave explosion as well, and HR sent a scolding email about how I’m not a maid. You know things are bad when HR steps in without being asked. Sheesh.

I  wrote a Fridge Rap that week. Actually, I’ve written two and can’t remember when I did which because my oldest archives are not very organized. So…I will post both. Besides, the second rap got a Joie Brown illo, so now both raps can have a visual.

Frigidaire Rap 

This is a shout out to my office Peeps, cuz life ain’t easy for a receptionist on the streets!

I’m an admin with swagger, so I gotta represent,
With my rhymes like liquid gold. My flows heaven sent,

I hate to waste food, so I gotta be fair,
So listen close to this rap about the Frigidaire,

I can’t let you leave yo food in the fridge week after week,
It would be stanky, moldy, cluttered and yo, Man! It would reek!

So remove yo mac & cheese, yo sammich, and yo chicken wings,
Cuz I’m gonna toss it in the trash at five fifteen!

This is gonna go down every Friday,
I’m gonna throw down and throw your food away,
So you better be smart and heed this fly warning,

This is one of Joie's earliest illustrations that she sketched in a cubicle and texted to me.

This is one of Joie’s earliest illustrations that she sketched in a cubicle and texted to me.

Or yo food will not be here on Monday morning!

Frigidaire Rap Numbah Too! 

This rap is dedicated to my homie Greg T
cuz he did that stack of nasty dishes fo me!

Don’t be a hater
cuz I’m the dictator,
laying down the laws of the fridge.
Don’t hate the playa. Hate the game.
Then hang yo head in shame,
as I trash yo food and burn another bridge.

You’ll soon be doing time.
Forgettin’ is the crime.
Your sentence is lunch without parole.
When you go to get yo meal
you’ll be shoutin’ “What’s da deal?!”
You got busted by the office Fridge Patrol!

Remember, crime don’t pay, Kids.

5:15

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in blogging, chores, gangsta, Joie Brown, Mini Fridge, office, rap, receptionist, Receptionist on the Verge, refrigerator, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Throwback Throw Down: Poetry Month Rap Realness

  1. Blondie says:

    What I really enjoy is how ghetto we were back then. Draw an illustration on a legal pad and text it to you from my cubicle? Flexing your creative muscles by writing entertaining poems and raps for people in your corporate jailhouse? We made it work no matter what… and now look at where we are! Hahaaaa

    • purrrentice says:

      Hahaha. Yeah. Our humble beginnings were pretty darn ghetto. It’s awesome because you see them progress as they go, especially since you started school and used fridge are as a means for practicing. 🙂

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