A Look Back at My College Portfolio: The Form I Was Best At In Class

I am writing copy for my character demo for VO, and I planned on borrowing a poetic piece from myself for a part of the reel. I found it and also read the rest of my college portfolio from Poetry class. I am so tickled by my old work that I plan to share the nostalgia with A+you. I will share one poem from my portfolio each day this week.

Today I will share my Dramatic Monologue. I shared this poem once before in 2011 when discussing a Fridge Poem, but it really deserves its own blog post. I’ve always had a knack for simple, conversational writing, so it comes as no surprise that of all the forms we practiced in class, this was my bread and butter. The teacher said it was hands down the best in class and gave me an A+. On top of that, I still like the piece five to six years after writing it (And all artists know that you usually look back at your old stuff and cringe or laugh at your younger self in a condescending way.). So here it is, my dramatic monologue that delves into the mind of a crazy cat lady.

The Old Cat Lady

Well, good morning, Miss Molly,
Florence and Fanny.
Cat PawsHow are you ladies today?
I’m just fine, thank you.
You girls look lovely this morning.
You know, back in my day
I was quite a looker myself.
Had boys lining up
for a chance to take me out.
And that one blue dress I had.
Golly. I looked good—
Okay. Alright.
I know you’re hungry.

Oh. There’s Tom Tom, Tiger,
Charlie and Abigail.
Here you go. Breakfast is served.
Now I’m going to step out and—
Yes, I know, Señor Whiskers.
I shouldn’t be smoking.
Wow. It looks like a party in that kitchen.
You know, I used to sneak out
and go to parties in my day.
I’d dance with the girls all night long.
Had boys lining up
for a chance to dance with me—

Ah. Hello, Mr. Mittens.
You’re such a handsome young man.
You know, my husband was quite handsome.
He swept me off my feet. That’s for sure.
We used to go dancing together,
and I would dance in his arms all night long.
Then we would talk about everything and share a cigarette
as we walked home.Cat Paws
He was so smart and so fun.
It still seems unfair
that he died in the war—
Aww. Don’t be sad for me,
Mr. Mittens—

Did you see that, Boots and Belle?
Those kids ruined my flower bed again.
Tomorrow we can spend the afternoon together
fixing it, but not today.
Don’t you remember? It’s Thursday.
The girls and I are playing bridge today.
Or was it Pony Tail? It doesn’t matter,
as long as Tabitha brings the Bloody Marys—
Oh. Here’s Lilly, Mittie,
and Mr. Kiddleywinkumpoops.
I’ll go ahead and feed you, too,
but I can’t entertain you all day.
I have important things to do,
like drink, gossip, smoke and play cards

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in cat poem, cats, dramatic monologue, eharmony cat lady, Funny Poetry, poetry, Voice acting, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to A Look Back at My College Portfolio: The Form I Was Best At In Class

  1. Pingback: Portfolio Piece #2: An Ode to Snow Peas | Freelance Prentice

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