Someday…I can be sick…

BULL HONKEY!

Yesterday I had some kind of head cold plague. I couldn’t breathe, felt prickly and was super irritable. I needed to go home and sleep, but I don’t call-in sick. I vowed weeks ago (in the linked blog post), after yet again more drama from being sick, that I would rather be wheeled-into work in a coma or be barfing in my waste basket or be profusely bleeding all over my desk than deal with the bull honkey that ensues when I try to call-in or leave.

One perk I would like to have someday is the ability to use sick time. I have had two jobs that offered paid time off, and  it’s unfortunate that being sick has always been out of the question. It’s simply not an option. Why even offer it? Around here, people call-in all the time, and it’s no biggie. I envy this perk…to use the benefits I have been given as part of my employment agreement that don’t roll over after the end of the year. Le sigh.

At AMC, the problem wasn’t that people got upset if you needed to take a sick day. It was just impossible to make it happen. I mean, if I’m sick, and I’m the opening manager, who do I call-in to? Myself? There has to be a manager on duty at all times. My friend Tommy devised a plan to trade-off covering each other’s sick days, and when I got really sick one spring, he made arrangements for me to go home and stay there for a day or two. It’s a good thing I had such great friends at the theatre. I miss them and don’t know how I survived becoming a manager in the blink of an eye without them. AMC also rolled your time over each year, erasing the incentive to take sick days just so you don’t lose the paid time off. That and the old 401K program were the highlights of AMC Theatres.

At this job, you would think the receptionist, being the bottom tier of the bottom of all office tiers, could call-in sick with no qualms. Wrong. Ever since I started at this place, drama would explode if I wanted/needed time off.

Actually, it started during my interview! I told the company that I already had a trip planned with my husband for the Magic The Gathering Pro Tour in Honoloulu. They said it was no problem butfailed to mention that they took my two floating holidays. I was going to use one for my yearly OBGYN visit, and my manager had no problems until I had to reschedule. Dr. Jekyll flipped her shit, cursing and yelling at me. I had to beg to get an extension on my birth control because I had to wait until I hit my 90 day mark and then accrued 4 hours of sick time to go. My old manager was crazy and would bully me every time I needed sick or vacation time. If I wasn’t sick when calling-in, I sure as hell was when it was all said and done. I wrote an accurate example of our past dialogue in this past post I’m linking.

One man's trip is another's worst nightmare

She made such a fuss about me not being allowed sick time that I did everything to not get sick, which is why I learned that summer that I’m very allergic to cough suppressant. My eyes were dialated. My tongue and throat were swollen, and I could hardly walk without falling over, but I still made myself come-in and drool on myself. Lucky for me I didn’t barf, and it was an early release day for a holiday weekend!

I tried to come-in sick once but couldn’t do it, and Dr. Jekyll threatened to fire me as I walked out the door.

I had to buy a last minute ticket to Orlando once because she refused to give me my vacation day for traveling by car with my family.That’s also when she said I couldn’t come to the company Christmas party because she lied to her staff and said I wouldn’t be back that day.

Dr. Jekyll also told me once that I needed a doctor’s note for being off for one day, despite what the employee handbook said.

She was surprisingly kind when I needed to stay home because of a horrible tummy ache (from eating too many corndogs with my boys), and then she did all the staff’s evaluations and pay raises, leaving me out (probably on purpose) completely.

Anyways, to make this writing-related, here is a poem I wrote last week about cake:

I found a cake upon my desk,
and asked “What could this be?”
It is a birthday present,
from our friends at CBRE!

For our anniversary,
they sent red velvet cake.
Hurry to the break room,
If you’ve a sweet tooth you must slake!

 

 

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About purrrentice

Fantastic Voiceover? How About PRENTASTIC VOICEOVER?!?! I'm Prentice Osborne, a full-time, freelance voiceover talent out of Atlanta. My specialty is Millennial, teen and everything in between, and I work in multiple genres of VO, from e-learning to games to cartoons to radio and TV ads. I love the entire VO process, from pen to paper, mouth to mic, cursor to waveform. It's totally Prentabulous! Need some voice work? Bring it on, World! Freelance Prentice is here to blow your mind with laughs, creative magic, mad skills, and a little bit of razzle dazzle!
This entry was posted in bullying, Cake, Magic the Gathering, managers, Need New Job, office, poetry, receptionist, Red, sharks, shenanigans, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

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