Happy Discounted Candy Day, Everybody! Take a look at my awesome jack-o-lantern I made. It’s a pedo-tastic masterpiece, and I created him all by myself.

Bask in his creeper-ness!

If that and the fact that my aunt and I scored a Words With Friends score of 666 isn’t spooky enough for you, here is something to tickle the depths of your fears:

Getting fired via text message!

The Troll's Tea of Choice

That’s right. I was laid-off, and my boss took a “Modern Middle School Romance” managerial approach with his announcement. Other than the fact I didn’t see this department lay off coming, I am not surprised by this kind of occurrence from Honest Tea. From day one, my experiences with this company have been mysterious and shady. For a company with the word “honest” in the brand, they sure have some secretive/ questionable ways of running their business. I think instead of Honest Tea, I now like to call them Sheisty Tea.

I was originally interviewed to be a full-time manager. Days later, they pretended the position never existed and thanked me for “showing interest.” I was offered a part-time job as a demo gal, but I was told the interns most of the work. I filled-out all the paperwork, including tax forms and direct deposit info, and I never heard from them again. Okay. Not really “never again,” but close enough.  I even tried to follow-up and see if they lost my info or fired me or something like that. No answer.

I got a random e-mail from Honest Tea seven months later. They desperately needed another person to help with an event at the Coke corporate office, but they were not allowed to hire anybody. Lucky for them I’m a desperate sap. They made me resubmit all my paperwork because it was lost? That’s not awkward or mysterious or anything. I was treated as a new hire. They even tried to change my official hire date. Um, no.

I did the Coke corporate gig, and they liked me so much that I started to work for them at weekend events. I loved it. The regional manager talked to me directly about working full time and insisted I send her a resume. When I tried to follow-up about the interview she wanted, she was quite short with me and scolded me, saying “I can’t interview you unless corporate asks me to.” I was shocked by the sudden change, because I clearly hadn’t learned my lesson yet.

Honest Tea stopped contacting me again. A few weeks later, a new person claiming to be the new acting manager asked me if I was willing to work until the end of summer. I was like “Am I getting laid-off?” She assured me she simply phrased that wrong, and once again, I didn’t hear from her for weeks. After following-up a few times, she told me there was a new manager, and I asked for his email address. I finally started to get work again, but I was working boring demos at grocery stores. I was told store demos were going to get HUGE, and I would start getting lots of hours.

Then I got fired via text.

This business etiquette makes me wonder how on Earth Honest Tea can be Fair Trade certified. If they can’t even treat demo girls professionally and respectfully, how should I expect them to treat workers on tea and sugar cane farms?

Oh well, I guess once again I’m back to the drawing board for job ideas. At least I got to drink lots of free Moroccan Mint Tea for a while. That stuff’s amazing!