I just want to take a moment on this grumpy Monday to express my deep hatred of phones. I hate the sound the office phone makes. I hate the flashing lights. I hate paging people on the intercom.I hate dealing with the voice mail system, and I can’t stand about 90% of the callers. The office phone broke me. I used to like phones. At AMC, I was the Phone Goddess, and I was well known for my fabulous phone voice at Henry’s Louisiana Grill. Not anymore (meaning I don’t enjoy it, not that I’m not still amazing at it). Heck. I don’t even like chatting on my cell. Texting is better.

That being said, here is a picture I drew last week (in lieu of doing anything constructive) of me fantasizing about killing my phone, Office Space style and then some:

The office phone is my worst enemy, my workplace nemesis. The very sound of it gives me nervous tics...