When life hands you lemons, most people make lemonade. F*ck that. I make it rain lemonade and chicken! This is the best use of my time unemployed yet:
Unless you live under a rock…or haven’t known me for very long, you know that every year I celebrate Cow Appreciation Day. In the Osledge abode, this holiday is like Christmas and Halloween put together. On this magical day, if you dress like a cow “head to hoof,” you get a free combo at Chick-fil-a. Now, most normal people dress-up and visit their local Chickie for a single meal and post cute pics on Facebook. My herd, however, goes Chick-or-Treating. This means we hit as many locations as possible and store the delicious food for later consumption.
Since I’m jobless, this was the first year I was able to really take Cow Day seriously, like for realsies serious. In years past I had to be Business Cow-sual and work around a lame-ass job, but this year I am proud to say that my stampede had a need to feed and a moo-d for food! We hit a lucky 13 stores and obtained over three hundred dollars worth of food AND a sticker! We were also featured on two different FB pages! Woot!
I know a few of you are giving your screen the stank eye and saying “But Prentice, this is going to ruin your hard work with Insanity. For shame!” Wrong! I have dubbed all the fries and nuggets Hippy & Husband Kibble (Boys are expensive to feed. This was a bargain!). While they nom on chickie chunks, I have a bunch of Spicy Cool Wraps. I remove the excess bread and use hot sauce instead of dressing. Instead of fries, I eat half of one of those with healthy sides from home. Thanks for your concern though. I wanna get skinny!
Another thing you may be wondering is “Prentice. You are a solid supporter of the LGBTQ community. How can you even go to Chick-fil-a? Ummm…I didn’t pay for anything. On top of that, I wore a homemade, gay pride cow bell to each store. It was both loud and proud. Don’t you think foraging three hundred dollars worth of free chicken whilst dinging and ringing around in a rainbow cow bell is hell of a fun and effective protest? Besides, Willam liked my idea on his fan page and is always down to Chow Down at Chick-fil-a:
So, the only reason you have to be hatin’ is you wish you had thought of this! Word!