So, a few of you may wonder how my interview went last weekend, and others may have assumed that my lack of response meant failure. Well, the interview went well enough, but the job was a multi-level marketing scheme. Yay. The only job I’ve been offered since graduation, other than this receptionist thingy and a management position at Steak n’ Shake, was a trap.

I feel pretty silly for not picking-up on the signals sooner, but my red flag radar and force field were temporarily disabled by the fact that the posting came from a reputable source and by the eloquently phrased job description. I mean, the job title was “BRAND REPRESENTATIVE- Fashion/Cosmetic Events & Promotions.” By the time I went to the interview, I started to get a bad feeling, as some guy (who was not the manager who was supposed to interview me) was teaching me how to become a 100K manager in a year by hustling cleaner and overpriced cheesecake at Costco and Sam’s Club. By the time I spoke to the manager again, I knew I had wasted my time.

So, from me to you, I will share a list of red flags I found from on the job description, during the “interview” and while receiving the”job offer” that will hopefully help you in the future.

You're gonna love my nuts! We're gonna make America skinnier, one slap at a time!

NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED
If you see this on a job ad, especially in all caps and even more especially if it’s in the job title, don’t click it. Don’t read it. Just forget you ever saw it and move on. This catch phrase is much like the ones you hear during TV sales ads at four in the morning, like “Wait! There’s more!” or “If you call now, we’ll double the order for free!”

This is Marketing…Not Sales
The word sales has a stigma to it nowadays because of sketchy, fake, sales companies, so scam-like jobs now try to insist that this is not a sales job. It is a marketing job…in which you make money off of selling stuff to people, and if you sell more than the others, you will advance…because you are so damn good at closing that sale- wait.

You can be making 100K in less than a year!
Holy crap! You mean I’ve been wasting my time trying to prove myself while making less than 30K here when I could have been making stacks and stacks? Focus on the word “can.” There many levels to compete through to make it to the top. The manager even told me on the phone, “Not everybody makes it there. We filter them out.”

Email Address
I first was dealing with a legitimate enough looking email exchange. After my “interview,” I was told to list the top three reasons why I was better than all the other candidates and send it to a Gmail address. It was TheCompanyName.HR@Gmail.com. If a business does not have a company address, be on guard. It may just be a small business getting started, or it may be a scam.

Peer Pressure
I remember going to a timeshare presentation once (Because Mr. Prentice was with me, and he always slaughters the poor salesperson with his economic logic and “I’m smarter than you” demeanor.).  They use a passive aggressive arguements to make poor saps, who just wanted a fifty dollar gift card to Hard Rock Cafe, feel defensive and sign up. When I declined the position, the manager tried to bully me into taking it, saying things like “Oh, I guess you just don’t think you can handle it?” and “So, you’re scared to move-up and manage your own team?” He didn’t act like I was valuable. He was trying to make me say “Hell yes I can handle this! Where do I sign?” If a company has to sell a job to you, its more than likely not a very good job.

I contacted my college’s career services center in regards to the sham. They don’t believe me though. The girl who answered my complaint seems to think I’m a job snob, sticking my nose-up to a position that somebody else may cherish. She could be right. I’m sure some people dream of being tricked into the idea they will be making over 100K in no time flat and end-up making 90 dollars a day hustling windshield wiper services and generic branded vitamin water. The lady then proceeded to recommend I visit the center for help on choosing a job that’s right for me and learning how to better market myself.

Umm…Perhaps they will come around, as different posts for that same job under other names, like this one I found on Craigslist today, begin to emerge.

Rofl.